Emotional wellbeing

Worry is something we all do at times and can be helpful in motivating us to make sure we are safe and well. Sometimes however worries we have can be excessive and be unhelpful getting in the way of letting us enjoy our lives even when there is nothing really to worry about.

Worry can feel very similar to anger – your heart races, you feel sweaty and you feel sick or faint. This is your body telling you that you feel threatened.

If you worried and anxious it is a good idea to talk about it with someone you can trust such as a parent, trusted family member, friends or teachers.

Further support

Anger is one of a normal range of emotions that we all experience.

It’s ok and perfectly normal to feel angry about things that you have experienced. Sometimes, though, you can feel angry and not know why.

When is anger an issue?

• Physically hurting others
• Frequently shouting at others
• Being destructive
• Losing control
• Self harming
• Refusing to go to school
• Substance misuse i.e. alcohol and drugs
• Putting yourself in danger

Coping with anger

• Finding someone to talk to that you trust
• Listen to music
• Playing music
• Drawing, painting or writing in a diary
• Breathing techniques
• Sports and exercise
• Taking a bath
• Watch your favourite TV show
• Read a book

Further support

Bullying can happen anywhere and be about anything, it affects over 1 million young people every year. If someone physically hurts you or verbally abuses you that’s bullying. Bullying can be a one off or it can go on for a long time.

Specific types of bullying

• Cyber
• Homophobic and Transphobic
• Social Networks
• Faith and Religious
• Racism and Racial
• Discrimination, Hate Crime and Equality

It can make you feel isolated and worthless, lonely, anxious, angry and lack in confidence. Some people who are bullied develop depression, anxiety and eating problems, they may self-harm or turn to drugs and alcohol. Don’t put up with it. No one deserves to be bullied.

Further support

Loss and bereavement is a difficult time and when you’ve lost a family member, a friend, or your pet, its normal to feel low, sad, angry and anxious. You can feel very sad and emotional during this time, remember that grieving is something very personal, each person will have a different experience and its normal to have good and bad days. If you feel sad and want to speak with someone, there are people out there that can help. If you’re not sure where to go for help making an appointment with your Doctor (GP) is a good starting point. Remember you’re not alone.

Further support

Eating disorders are serious and may be life threatening.They affect people both physically and emotionally.

There are many reasons why a young person can become affected by an eating disorder. These include social factors, such as what we see in magazines or peer pressure and comparing ourselves to other people. There are some genetic links to eating disorders and other stressors may play a role too, such as exams, transitions or relationship concerns.

The most common eating disorders are ‘anorexia nervosa’ and ‘bulimia nervosa’.  Other food-related disorders, like binge eating disorder can also be problematic for some young people.

 Anyone can develop an eating disorder irrelevant of age, gender, religion and cultural background.

 It’s important that anyone affected by eating disorder has the opportunity to get support early, to help make sense of and manage the very difficult effects of the eating disorder

If you’re worried about yourself, please go and see your GP as soon as possible. If you are concerned about a friend encourage them to attend their GP.

Further support

Like it or not, at some point in our lives, we have to take exams. At school, College, Uni, even learning to drive – there’s no escaping them.

For some people it’s no big deal, they even get off on it, but for most of us, exams are stressful.

But stress isn’t all bad. It’s the thing that gives us a rush of adrenaline to make us bother to sit down and study. Without it, we’d all just lie in bed watching the TV rather than ploughing through some dull book. Stress helps to motivate us and raises our game when we’re faced with a challenge. But it’s a fine line – too much stress does the opposite and causes us to get anxious and tense. It means we start panicking and we can’t stay focused.

What are the symptoms of exam stress?

• Difficulty getting to sleep or difficulty waking up in the morning
• Constant fatigue
• Forgetfulness
• Aches and pains for no apparent reason
• Poor appetite
• Social withdrawal
• Loss of interest in activities
• Increased anxiety and irritability
• “Flying off the handle”
• Increased heart rate
• Migraines/headaches
• Blurred vision
• Dizziness

Everyone has bad days, but if you’ve noticed three or more of the above symptoms and you’ve experienced them for some weeks you may need to do something about your stress levels. Contact your School Nurse for advice or visit your GP.

Ease the stress

Whatever the reason, remember these points:

• Give yourself a break – you can only absorb information for so long before it becomes confusing. You’re much more likely to remember stuff if you put in plenty of breaks, even if it’s just making a cup of tea.
• Try not to eat too much junk food and don’t drink alcohol, but do plan a celebration when the exams have finished.
• Stress messes with people’s sleep patterns. Take time to relax before going to bed, that way, when you do hit the sack, you’ll fall asleep, rather than lie there worrying about all the work you’ve got to do.
• Keep yourself busy. When you’re not studying, do things you enjoy. Treat yourself.
• Try to make time for yourself away from your studies to wind down. For example, relaxing in a warm bubble bath, listening to soothing music and shutting out the world for a while.
• Take time for your mind and body to relax. Chatting with friends, meditation, yoga or just watching a bit of telly can take the edge off.
• Take time to exercise. Regular and frequent exercise is a good stress reducer.
• Eat well – skipping meals will deplete your energy and leave you drained.
• Avoid comparing your abilities with your mates. Those "Oh my God I've only read Macbeth 17 times" conversations are such a wind up. Everyone approaches revision in different ways, so just make sure you've chosen the method that works best for you. Make a realistic timetable. Stick to it.
• Panic is often triggered by hyperventilating (quick, shallow breaths). So, if you feel yourself losing it during the exam, sit back for a moment and control your breathing. Deep breath in and out through the nose, counting to five each way.
• Steer clear of any exam 'post-mortem'. It doesn't matter what your mate wrote for Question 3(b), it's too late to go back and change your answers, so it will just make you worry even more.
• Talk to your family and friends. Make time to see your mates will help you unwind and let you unburden any problems.

And don’t forget: failing isn’t the end of the world. It’s a pain, it’s frustrating, you might even get aggro from your parents. But at the end of the day, it’s only an exam. And there are options.

Get it off your chest

Ok, so no one can sit the exams for you, but have a chat to family, friends, student advice centres or teachers or lecturers. It helps to get your worries off your chest and you’re bound to find someone who can relate to what you’re feeling. No matter how much the idea of failing an exam is getting on top of you, don’t sit down and worry on your own. You’ll just get bogged down and things will start to seem far worse than they are.

Further support

Low mood is when a person feels helpless or hopeless. Low mood can also be described as being sad, anxious or panicky. Tiredness, low self-esteem, frustration and anger can also contribute to low mood.

Low moods usually improve after a few days up to two weeks. Making some changes in your life such as talking to somebody you trust about your problems, to resolve any problems and to get more sleep. If your low mood does not improve after a few weeks this could be a sign of depression, so make an appointment to see your GP.

Further support

OCD is an anxiety related disorder that has 2 parts to it. There are 2 occasions during life whereby OCD commonly occurs; teenage years and early adulthood.

Obsession

This is where we have reoccurring or persistent thought’s, images or impulses that can be intrusive and inappropriate which can cause anxiety and distress.

Compulsion

This can be a repetitive action or behaviour e.g having to count to an even number /washing hands, that a person feels they must do in response to the obsessive thought they have been experiencing to stop the anxiety.

When is it a problem?

When the obsession and compulsion becomes extremely time consuming and interferes with normal daily activities, daily functioning and causes marked distress.

Further support

Self harm can be difficult to talk about but with help you can beat it.

• Self harm is an expression of emotional distress where people cause physical harm to themselves.
• Self-harming can occur in many forms, the underlying intention is to release the build up of pressure from distressing thoughts and feelings.
• Learning new coping strategies to deal with self harm will make it easier to break the cycle.
• Accepting help can be the hardest step but by allowing yourself to do this, you're recognising and allowing positive changes to your life - helping towards a fresh start.

Tips and techniques for preventing self-harm

Everyone has their own coping strategies. 

Have a look at these tips on how to prevent self - harm, but remember everyone is different so the best person to be aware of what can help you is yourself!

Ice cubes

Many young people find holding two ice cubes and allowing them to melt in their hands – gives the same sensation as self – harming.

Relaxation technique 

Learning to relax may help you to cope with the feelings that are leading to self-harming.  Try this Mindfulness breathing exercise video on youtube. 

Memory box 

Filling a box with positive memories such as pictures, distraction techniques, drawing books, music, films, concert tickets, favourite chocolate bar or anything that means something to you. Sensory objects such as a candle can all help to distract thoughts of self – harming and improve your mood.

Keep a feelings diary 

By being able to reflect on your feelings and mood it can help to understand you’re feeling low in your mood and maybe why you want to self – harm. By writing a feelings diary it can help you to recognise the trigger, allowing for reflection and development of overcoming the trigger rather than self – harming.

What helped David? 

David thought it was useful to place his blade in a jar and wrap the jar in sellotape. So when he had the urge to self-harm he would have to peel through the layers of sellotape. This would help him to reduce the urge to self-harm as before he was able to get the blade straight away.

Delaying self harm 

Setting time scales before self-harming and reviewing the urge to self-harm and increasing the time scale each time using your distraction techniques often can help you to stop self – harming.

Self-harm information on the NHS website

Further support

Suicidal thoughts and feelings can happen to anyone. These feelings can be brought about by things like bullying, abuse, friendship issues etc. You may not even know why you are feeling like this. You're not alone.

Feeling suicidal can affect anyone, no matter how old they are. People may want to end their life because:

• They feel it'll make their pain stop

• They feel it'll take negative feelings away

• They think it'll mean other people in their life will know how much they're hurting

• They feel suicide will give them control.

There is always another way other than suicide support can be accessed from family, friends, and charities such as Childline, Papyrus etc. It’s important to speak to someone if you feel suicidal or you’re worried you'll harm yourself. They're there to help you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If it’s an emergency or you need help straight away, call 999. Taking drugs or drinking alcohol makes it hard to think clearly and make good decisions. Alcohol is also a depressant which make suicidal feelings even worse.

If you have any drugs, flush them away. If you have anything that could harm you, get rid of it. It also helps to be with someone instead of being on your own.

Further support